On Nurturing Creative Children

 

When my kids were little but experiencing big, big emotions, I had a consistent response: Let's express that. There were ample crayons, markers, paper, and other supplies provided. The point was -- don't keep it inside; get it into the world. And use it! 

I drove them to dance and music classes. But not every child learns in the same way. Philip was distressed with a piano teacher who relied on a rote approach to learning. After giving him some space from formal lessons, he leaned in on his ability to play by ear and also used youtube videos to teach himself the tunes he was interested in.

And Caedyn -- after learning how to make sock puppets by sewing pieces of fabric together -- took off and took the skills to the next level. Soon after that they were reinventing tops with bits of snazzy fabrics from old clothes. 

In elementary school, Philip drew comics that were wildly funny -- and I couldn't even tell you why. They were just clever. He went through a period where he didn't value that type of creation anymore. He needed to go through some things and grow up a little. Recently, he told me how much he loves it when he can make people laugh.

For Caedyn and Julie, they have found some of their best expression through singing, drawing, and painting. 



Caedyn and Julie painted everything. Chairs, old windows frames, canvases, even their walls. Julie discovered henna and painted her own body. Sometimes I was startled by the images that emerged; like the time Caedyn covered their hands in red paint and decorated their room with bloody handprints. That was what they needed -- and I would been hurting them to get in the way.

Recently, Philip played banjo at a local coffee shop and read from his journal afterwards. Caedyn lives their life on fire and crafts their dress to match their vibrant personality. And Julie's paintings are hung throughout our house. 

For kids who are creative, open and evolving avenues of expression are the key to health and even survival. As a parent of three creative beings, I've felt my job has been to support that expression no matter what it has looked like.




Popular posts from this blog

Untitled and Unsure: Phases of Parenting and Becoming

Image
I've been thinking a lot about pregnancy, birth, and new babies. This goes with the territory when you're a doula.  Thinking, researching, listening, holding space for my clients. But right now I feel like I'm headed over the edge of a cliff because my own babies are growing up. You know that feeling right before you fall? (You may be especially familiar with this feeling if you live in Minnesota and have ever tried to walk down a hill after freezing rain.)  That's where I am. It's every parent's goal to see their children grow up healthy, happy, learning and adventuring. Right? Yes! But I never, for one moment, thought about this time of my life until it sneaked up on me. I spent a lot of time living in each high intensity moment -- starting with keeping a newborn alive, moving on to shuffling three kids to sports and dance and school, then walking side by side with them as they entered adolescence.  Then, Juliana married Landon this past spring.  Next she grad
Read more

Centering Women of Size in Birth - "Talk to me, not at me"

Image
Birthing women and people of size deserve no less than to be respected, honored, and wholeheartedly supported during their pregnancy and postpartum experiences. Pregnant women with higher body mass index (BMI) may be discriminated against. They may be presented with a barrage of anticipated risks rather than getting individualized support when seeking health services. BMI has (finally) been taken down a notch in the medical community, at least “on paper.” The American Medical Association published a new policy in June of 2023 that aimed to clarify the role of BMI. They called out “historical harm,” “use for racist exclusion,” and other limitations of the measure. In BMI We Trust, Reframing the Body Mass Index as a Measure of Health , medical sociologist Iliya Gutin argued that we should use BMI as only part of a holistic view of health, recognize its limitations, and be more flexible about its interpretation.  But how do people of size actually feel when seeking health services? I am
Read more

Surviving and Thriving a Pregnant Summer (and a little bit on climate change)

Image
In the summer of 2006 I was in my third trimester with baby Charlotte and living in South Carolina. We were near Charleston in a small town in Berkeley County and it was oppressively hot. Out of curiosity today I looked up the weather reports from that time. The South Carolina State Climatology Office published a summary of weather trends by month for that year. The report says "South Carolina baked the first week of August." A nearby Berkeley County town apparently reported 103 degrees on August 3. The report indicates that tropical storms followed not too long after that, which is typical for the region that time of year. Charlotte (who now goes by Caedyn) was born on September 21. I remember intense fatigue -- more so than with Juliana who was born on New Year's Eve. I became dizzy immediately anytime I walked outside (to be fair, I've never been great with heat so that's not so out of the ordinary). The heat and humidity formed a solid wall, and I had to face
Read more