Living Life in Bloom

Recently I was part of a social media exchange. A doula posted that she had missed a birth and explained the circumstances. The client had a rare but serious complication and had an emergency C-section before the doula could arrive. The birth professional expressed that she felt “awful” and was looking for words of encouragement, support. Being a doula is hard. Lots of jobs are hard. This one is hard in unique ways. Oftentimes, we pour our hearts and souls into our work. Things are not clear-cut. In one situation the call we make works out perfectly. In another, we make the same call, but we miss a birth or a client is unhappy with services. I offered words of encouragement and shared a little bit about how I would have handled it, affirming her choices. My main goal was to help her feel less alone and to feel supported. That’s what she asked for. Over the next few days, comments piled onto the thread. And comments were made upon comments of other commenters. The first few comments w...

Birthing women and people of size deserve no less than to be respected, honored, and wholeheartedly supported during their pregnancy and postpartum experiences. Pregnant women with higher body mass index (BMI) may be discriminated against. They may be presented with a barrage of anticipated risks rather than getting individualized support when seeking health services. BMI has (finally) been taken down a notch in the medical community, at least “on paper.” The American Medical Association published a new policy in June of 2023 that aimed to clarify the role of BMI. They called out “historical harm,” “use for racist exclusion,” and other limitations of the measure. In BMI We Trust, Reframing the Body Mass Index as a Measure of Health , medical sociologist Iliya Gutin argued that we should use BMI as only part of a holistic view of health, recognize its limitations, and be more flexible about its interpretation.  But how do people of size actually feel when seeking health services? I...

  My sister Hella met her husband Mike at the climbing wall at the University of North Texas. Climbing and bouldering together cemented their relationship, kept them strong and provided stress relief during grad school and beyond. When Hella became pregnant with their first child, she kept climbing.  The photo featured in this post shows her bouldering at about 5 months' gestation. Mike also proudly shares a video of Hella climbing a 5.11 at the gym, at full term and 3 days before she gave birth. (She wore a special harness to support her pregnant body for climbing.) Climbing was a way for Hella to feel alive and healthy during her pregnancy. As a doula, I look at the photos of her and see her building strength in her pelvic floor, hips, core and full body. I see her opening her pelvis for birth through the natural motions of climbing. Other pregnant people find that walking, yoga, or biking keep them feeling well. Some love dancing or swimming. Talk to your midwife or doctor...

One of my favorite mom memories is when little Juliana (just shy of age 3) picked up baby Charlotte from her bassinet, carried her to the living room, and plopped her on the floor. At first I thought Julie had just brought one of her dolls out to play with. Imagine my surprise when I realized it was not a doll but rather my precious newborn! Both of them seemed perfectly content, by the way. To this day, I have no idea how Julie – who wasn’t even as tall as the bassinet – managed to get Charlotte out and carry her down the hall. Another favorite memory is of tandem nursing. Julie enjoyed nursing until she was somewhere between 3 and 4. Cuddling Julie on one side and Charlotte on the other seemed to be the penultimate experience of motherhood to me. Oxytocin is a beautiful thing. And when I was birthing baby Philip: Charlotte (age 15 months) visited for a bit at the birth center while Julie (age 4) swam in the expansive birthing pool with me while I labored. She eventually fell asleep,...

Meatloaf and mashed potatoes are nutrition-dense foods – filled with protein, vitamins and minerals, fats and especially love. A healthy postpartum is just like a home-cooked meal. Here are three tips to start your life with a new baby (or babies!) the right way. Eat and drink when the baby feeds: Whether you’re nursing or not, your body has high nutrition needs after giving birth. You’re recovering stretched or injured tissue, restoring iron and other nutrients lost during childbirth. To make sure you’re getting enough nourishment and fluids to recover your amazing body – and to make milk if you’re breastfeeding – drink and eat when the baby feeds. You can keep water bottles near your favorite spots to feed baby – and ask your partner and family to supply you with a plate of nibbles. Consider nutrient-rich meals and snacks that include cheese or yogurt, whole grains, and fruits and veggies. Include nuts and proteins like fish, beef, and eggs. Drinking fluids like coconut water and bo...