Living Life in Bloom

Our world seems fixated on “fixing.” Action plans, process improvement plans, variance analysis – all of these govern ways of thinking in organizations and in our lives. Everything from our health to our home organization to our financial success can be regulated, allegedly, by a combination of the right approaches and products. In pregnancy, birth, and parenting there’s a lot that’s out of our control. That’s an enormous mindshift at a fundamental level for many of us. But it’s a necessary mindshift for transitioning into parenting. In labor, trying to control or fight against the waves of contractions causes pain at best, and stalls labor at worst. In parenting, we can drive ourselves absolutely crazy by hanging on too tightly to outcomes. Most parents have had some situation that looks like this: you plan a trip to the park; snack bags and extra clothes and supplies are packed. The three-year old is dressed and ready, and the six-month old is strapped into the carseat. Then the thre...

  When my kids were little but experiencing big, big emotions, I had a consistent response: Let's express that . There were ample crayons, markers, paper, and other supplies provided. The point was -- don't keep it inside; get it into the world. And use it!  I drove them to dance and music classes. But not every child learns in the same way. Philip was distressed with a piano teacher who relied on a rote approach to learning. After giving him some space from formal lessons, he leaned in on his ability to play by ear and also used youtube videos to teach himself the tunes he was interested in. And Caedyn -- after learning how to make sock puppets by sewing pieces of fabric together -- took off and took the skills to the next level. Soon after that they were reinventing tops with bits of snazzy fabrics from old clothes.  In elementary school, Philip drew comics that were wildly funny -- and I couldn't even tell you why. They were just clever. He went through a period where ...

I've been thinking a lot about pregnancy, birth, and new babies. This goes with the territory when you're a doula.  Thinking, researching, listening, holding space for my clients. But right now I feel like I'm headed over the edge of a cliff because my own babies are growing up. You know that feeling right before you fall? (You may be especially familiar with this feeling if you live in Minnesota and have ever tried to walk down a hill after freezing rain.)  That's where I am. It's every parent's goal to see their children grow up healthy, happy, learning and adventuring. Right? Yes! But I never, for one moment, thought about this time of my life until it sneaked up on me. I spent a lot of time living in each high intensity moment -- starting with keeping a newborn alive, moving on to shuffling three kids to sports and dance and school, then walking side by side with them as they entered adolescence.  Then, Juliana married Landon this past spring.  Next she grad...