On Listening
Robert Greenleaf described listening as “an attitude toward other people and what they are trying to express” (Servant Leadership). In deep listening, we assert respect and acceptance of the speaker in their full spirit and humanity. Greenleaf writes that “a true natural servant automatically responds to any problem by listening first.”
Listening is a key element of leadership and team development. It’s essential to bridge-building among groups of people. And it can be used in a healing relationship.
Rachel Naomi Remen writes in her chapter Just Listen, that “the most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen.” Listening with presence and heart means avoiding the urge to interrupt, even to express understanding. When we interrupt, “we move the focus of attention to ourselves. When we listen, they know we care” (Kitchen Table Wisdom).
It can be difficult to listen. It takes effort and sometimes bravery. To fully witness another person’s selfhood can be intense. If we are afraid to hear a worldview that differs from our own, we can be on edge. But we don’t have to reject others’ differing thinking to preserve our own integrity. In The Book of Beautiful Questions, Warren Berger points out that “The willingness to consider other sides is one of the bedrock principles of critical thinking…. There is nothing that says you must accept an opposing view as reasonable or correct…”
Thus we see that listening can bolster relationship and fosters the opportunity for critical thinking.
When is the last time you felt fully heard, fully held in the space of listening, fully witnessed?
When is the last time you listened to another with reverence?
Photo Credit: by Freepik
