Posts

Doulaing the Doula

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Recently I was part of a social media exchange. A doula posted that she had missed a birth and explained the circumstances. The client had a rare but serious complication and had an emergency C-section before the doula could arrive. The birth professional expressed that she felt “awful” and was looking for words of encouragement, support. Being a doula is hard. Lots of jobs are hard. This one is hard in unique ways. Oftentimes, we pour our hearts and souls into our work. Things are not clear-cut. In one situation the call we make works out perfectly. In another, we make the same call, but we miss a birth or a client is unhappy with services. I offered words of encouragement and shared a little bit about how I would have handled it, affirming her choices. My main goal was to help her feel less alone and to feel supported. That’s what she asked for. Over the next few days, comments piled onto the thread. And comments were made upon comments of other commenters. The first few comments w
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Surviving and Thriving a Pregnant Summer (and a little bit on climate change)

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In the summer of 2006 I was in my third trimester with baby Charlotte and living in South Carolina. We were near Charleston in a small town in Berkeley County and it was oppressively hot. Out of curiosity today I looked up the weather reports from that time. The South Carolina State Climatology Office published a summary of weather trends by month for that year. The report says "South Carolina baked the first week of August." A nearby Berkeley County town apparently reported 103 degrees on August 3. The report indicates that tropical storms followed not too long after that, which is typical for the region that time of year. Charlotte (who now goes by Caedyn) was born on September 21. I remember intense fatigue -- more so than with Juliana who was born on New Year's Eve. I became dizzy immediately anytime I walked outside (to be fair, I've never been great with heat so that's not so out of the ordinary). The heat and humidity formed a solid wall, and I had to face
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When it comes to breech, birthing parents deserve options

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Most of the time, babies in utero turn head-down, or cephalic, before they are ready to be born. But sometimes they are breech, with bottom or feet down. In the United States, nearly all breech presenting babies are birthed through Cesarean section (surgical intervention). But it doesn’t have to be this way. Breech presentation can be viewed as a variation of normal – occurring in about 3-4% of term pregnancies – and there are ways to safely support vaginal breech birth. One way to support breech birth is to ensure that birth attendants are trained in physiologic breech. Unfortunately, residency programs in the US are now rarely training obstetrician physicians (OB doctors) in physiologic breech birth. Physicians may be trained that it’s so dangerous it should never be offered as an option. There are some OB physicians in practice who have the skills and the comfort level to support vaginal breech birth. There are also many midwives who are skilled and can support out of hospital breec
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Centering Women of Size in Birth - "Talk to me, not at me"

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Birthing women and people of size deserve no less than to be respected, honored, and wholeheartedly supported during their pregnancy and postpartum experiences. Pregnant women with higher body mass index (BMI) may be discriminated against. They may be presented with a barrage of anticipated risks rather than getting individualized support when seeking health services. BMI has (finally) been taken down a notch in the medical community, at least “on paper.” The American Medical Association published a new policy in June of 2023 that aimed to clarify the role of BMI. They called out “historical harm,” “use for racist exclusion,” and other limitations of the measure. In BMI We Trust, Reframing the Body Mass Index as a Measure of Health , medical sociologist Iliya Gutin argued that we should use BMI as only part of a holistic view of health, recognize its limitations, and be more flexible about its interpretation.  But how do people of size actually feel when seeking health services? I am
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You Should Know About the Pregnant Workers Fairness Act

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Photo by Mediamodifier on Unsplash The federal  Pregnant Workers Fairness Act  went into effect June of 2023. It requires covered employers to provide "reasonable accommodations" to a worker's known limitations related to pregnancy, childbirth or related medical conditions. There are some exceptions if it causes the employer an "undue hardship." You can read more about the law on the EEOC's website at  What You Should Know About the PWFA . Here are some of the possible reasonable accommodations pregnant people can request:  Ability to sit or drink water Get a closer parking spot Request uniforms and safety apparel that fit Receive flexible hours Receive additional break time for using the bathroom, eating and resting Be excused from strenuous activities or chemicals that can harm you or the baby This legislation is a step in the right direction. If you're pregnant, you deserve to be safe at work. You deserve to stay hydrated and well-nourished. You dese
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On Nurturing Creative Children

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  When my kids were little but experiencing big, big emotions, I had a consistent response: Let's express that . There were ample crayons, markers, paper, and other supplies provided. The point was -- don't keep it inside; get it into the world. And use it!  I drove them to dance and music classes. But not every child learns in the same way. Philip was distressed with a piano teacher who relied on a rote approach to learning. After giving him some space from formal lessons, he leaned in on his ability to play by ear and also used youtube videos to teach himself the tunes he was interested in. And Caedyn -- after learning how to make sock puppets by sewing pieces of fabric together -- took off and took the skills to the next level. Soon after that they were reinventing tops with bits of snazzy fabrics from old clothes.  In elementary school, Philip drew comics that were wildly funny -- and I couldn't even tell you why. They were just clever. He went through a period where he
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Untitled and Unsure: Phases of Parenting and Becoming

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I've been thinking a lot about pregnancy, birth, and new babies. This goes with the territory when you're a doula.  Thinking, researching, listening, holding space for my clients. But right now I feel like I'm headed over the edge of a cliff because my own babies are growing up. You know that feeling right before you fall? (You may be especially familiar with this feeling if you live in Minnesota and have ever tried to walk down a hill after freezing rain.)  That's where I am. It's every parent's goal to see their children grow up healthy, happy, learning and adventuring. Right? Yes! But I never, for one moment, thought about this time of my life until it sneaked up on me. I spent a lot of time living in each high intensity moment -- starting with keeping a newborn alive, moving on to shuffling three kids to sports and dance and school, then walking side by side with them as they entered adolescence.  Then, Juliana married Landon this past spring.  Next she grad
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