Living Life in Bloom

Our world seems fixated on “fixing.” Action plans, process improvement plans, variance analysis – all of these govern ways of thinking in organizations and in our lives. Everything from our health to our home organization to our financial success can be regulated, allegedly, by a combination of the right approaches and products. In pregnancy, birth, and parenting there’s a lot that’s out of our control. That’s an enormous mindshift at a fundamental level for many of us. But it’s a necessary mindshift for transitioning into parenting. In labor, trying to control or fight against the waves of contractions causes pain at best, and stalls labor at worst. In parenting, we can drive ourselves absolutely crazy by hanging on too tightly to outcomes. Most parents have had some situation that looks like this: you plan a trip to the park; snack bags and extra clothes and supplies are packed. The three-year old is dressed and ready, and the six-month old is strapped into the carseat. Then the thre...

 Birth trauma can feel like peering through a fence and not knowing how to get to the other side. Trauma can look different from birth to birth and from one person to the next. It can impact mothers and parents, caregivers, family members, and health staff. In my view, we must take steps to prevent birth trauma and address it when it develops. We can support birthing women and gender diverse parents, their families, and their care teams.  Prevention can look like engaging the mother/birther as a co-decision maker and leader of their birth process; embracing true informed consent; avoiding coercion; and using open, nonthreatening communication before, during, and after birth. We can start to heal birth trauma by bringing stories into the light. Birthing parents who have experienced trauma may find healing through creative expression. They may benefit from therapy which could include trauma-focused psychotherapy, spiritual counseling, naturopathic or allopathic medicine, and som...

Recently I was part of a social media exchange. A doula posted that she had missed a birth and explained the circumstances. The client had a rare but serious complication and had an emergency C-section before the doula could arrive. The birth professional expressed that she felt “awful” and was looking for words of encouragement, support. Being a doula is hard. Lots of jobs are hard. This one is hard in unique ways. Oftentimes, we pour our hearts and souls into our work. Things are not clear-cut. In one situation the call we make works out perfectly. In another, we make the same call, but we miss a birth or a client is unhappy with services. I offered words of encouragement and shared a little bit about how I would have handled it, affirming her choices. My main goal was to help her feel less alone and to feel supported. That’s what she asked for. Over the next few days, comments piled onto the thread. And comments were made upon comments of other commenters. The first few comments w...

In the summer of 2006 I was in my third trimester with baby Charlotte and living in South Carolina. We were near Charleston in a small town in Berkeley County and it was oppressively hot. Out of curiosity today I looked up the weather reports from that time. The South Carolina State Climatology Office published a summary of weather trends by month for that year. The report says "South Carolina baked the first week of August." A nearby Berkeley County town apparently reported 103 degrees on August 3. The report indicates that tropical storms followed not too long after that, which is typical for the region that time of year. Charlotte (who now goes by Caedyn) was born on September 21. I remember intense fatigue -- more so than with Juliana who was born on New Year's Eve. I became dizzy immediately anytime I walked outside (to be fair, I've never been great with heat so that's not so out of the ordinary). The heat and humidity formed a solid wall, and I had to face...

Most of the time, babies in utero turn head-down, or cephalic, before they are ready to be born. But sometimes they are breech, with bottom or feet down. In the United States, nearly all breech presenting babies are birthed through Cesarean section (surgical intervention). But it doesn’t have to be this way. Breech presentation can be viewed as a variation of normal – occurring in about 3-4% of term pregnancies – and there are ways to safely support vaginal breech birth. One way to support breech birth is to ensure that birth attendants are trained in physiologic breech. Unfortunately, residency programs in the US are now rarely training obstetrician physicians (OB doctors) in physiologic breech birth. Physicians may be trained that it’s so dangerous it should never be offered as an option. There are some OB physicians in practice who have the skills and the comfort level to support vaginal breech birth. There are also many midwives who are skilled and can support out of hospital breec...

Birthing women and people of size deserve no less than to be respected, honored, and wholeheartedly supported during their pregnancy and postpartum experiences. Pregnant women with higher body mass index (BMI) may be discriminated against. They may be presented with a barrage of anticipated risks rather than getting individualized support when seeking health services. BMI has (finally) been taken down a notch in the medical community, at least “on paper.” The American Medical Association published a new policy in June of 2023 that aimed to clarify the role of BMI. They called out “historical harm,” “use for racist exclusion,” and other limitations of the measure. In BMI We Trust, Reframing the Body Mass Index as a Measure of Health , medical sociologist Iliya Gutin argued that we should use BMI as only part of a holistic view of health, recognize its limitations, and be more flexible about its interpretation.  But how do people of size actually feel when seeking health services? I...